Saturday, December 31, 2011
Prepare for the Day of Marg-nificance
As we await the dawning of the new year, 2012, I am quite certain that landmark preparations have begun in distant lands all over the globe. For example, in Micronesia tribes are fattening goats and awaiting the ripening of luscious tree fruits. Preserves are being prepared and small children are learning to weave elaborate tapestries from leaves and vines all in my honor. In Turkmenistan, puppets are being carved from ancient wood in my likeness and somewhere in the deep recesses of Syberia, elderly women are sewing frilly garments to don on the Day of Marg-nificance – March 16.
How do I know these things are underway? Well, if I were to share that privileged information, I would most likely have to terminate our relationship however superficial and cyber-like it may be. Suffice it to say, I just know.
While the actual thought of turning 40 in a mere 77 days has filled me with angst and often times angina, I’ve resolve that for the new year I shall begin to embrace the onset of old age rather than fighting it. In theory, and according to the New Year’s Resolutions I’ve scribbled down on the back of a Phineas and Ferb coloring book page, I resolve to love my wrinkles, adore my receding gums and not sweat the fact that many portions of my body creak and crackle all the way up the stairs each morning.
So as we enter 2012, I say to the people of the world – “Prepare. For the grand Day of Marg-nificance is approaching and I want hoopla!” Just not too much, you know, I am getting old and I’ll need to get to bed early.