As I am about to descend further over the hill this week, I felt it only appropriate that I take a moment to offer a standard Old Lady Rant. Please read this in an elderly voice while shaking your fist in a hostile, geriatric style. Here goes –
People of the world, we have a problem. Perhaps my intolerance is just a consequence of my rapid aging as I’m mere days away from hitting the big 4-1 and admittedly, my tolerance of mankind has decreased in a manner as would be expected of a cranky old lady. Though I will take these factors into consideration, I don’t truly believe I can place all blame upon my early geriatric state. People of Earth, we have an epidemic that is sweeping, not only this country, but this world as well and if something isn’t done soon we definitely face uncertain doom. I’m not speaking about the epidemic of obesity – thought it certainly could be connected- nor am I waving the warning flag in reference to an impending zombie apocalypse. The pandemic at hand is a wide-sweeping case of mankind’s utter stupidity. The amount of stupidity taking over this world seems to have grown exponentially in recent years and at this rate it is virtually impossible to see hope on the horizon. Yes, I understand that this is what one would expect to hear from a near senior like myself, however, outings to anywhere groups of individuals congregate, a quick scan of YouTube or a check of the news immediately validates my case – everywhere you look, the world is filled with stupid people.
Each day that I venture out into society I observe at least 20 acts perpetrated by other adults that make me say – “Now that was stupid.” From the woman sharing the intimate details of her life- and menopause- at top volume while on a first date at Starbucks (click here for a play by play) to the mother on the playground so busy texting that she doesn’t see her toddler hanging by an arm from the 8’ slide depending on the rest of society to save her offspring. Then there was my stupidity filled weekend earlier this month at Dinofest which included the parents who abandoned their 18 month old in the bouncy castle with 25 four year olds as they went to grab lunch and the father who stood at the entrance of the event holding tiny infant in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. And the winners, the series of parents who placed their children atop the triceratops sculpture and photographed their little darlings with feet dangling over the sign reading, “Do not sit on or near the dinosaur.”
And of course we have the antics of YouTube: teenage boys smashing gallons of milk in grocery aisles and then posting the video and calling it “Milking” all in an attempt to replace the trend of “Planking” when idiots put themselves into precarious situations to lie stiff as a board. (PS boys, this old girl has “milked” a time or two in her day and it sure as hell wasn’t that easy!)
And while we’re counting up stupid people and stupid antics, we cannot overlook the entire Kardashian franchise – because selling your family out based upon your daughter’s porn tape is about the precipice of stupidity, and lets not forget Justin Biber and far too many more to name. It seems that stupidity is currently an immediate ticket to fame.
Flip on the news and there are even grander feats of stupidity overtaking society. The protester at a recent gun show who accidentally shot himself while toting the simplicity of gun safety. The mother of 2 who went on her first trip out of the US, traveled alone and booked a room in a dingy hostel in a section of Istanbul my Turk won’t even visit, and was later found dead. And then there are the countless tales of people sharing their most intimate details and daily comings and goings on Facebook and blogs only to later fall victim to crime perpetrated by a perfect stranger to whom they’d given their schedule. And most recently, the 13 hour Rand Paul filibuster-fest and Marco Rubio’s quoting of pot-loving rapper Wiz Khalifa on the congressional floor.
Everywhere I look, I see stupid people doing stupid things and this old lady just can’t take it anymore.
But is it really that stupidity is taking over or is it that people were always this stupid and now thanks, to technology, we are more privy to the stupidity of others?
While I do think technology has given us this luxury, I truly believe people are growing more stupid by the moment. We live in a world where people want to behave like children, or worse, behave like they did before they had children and when something goes wrong they want to blame anyone or anything but their own lack of common sense.
So what’s a sane human to do in times like these? The choices are slim I fear. At my increased age, I must be careful not to get all riled up as I run the risk of heart failure. While drinking to avoid society is a nice thought, it’s rough in practicality and as the Turk recently noted, by repeatedly pointing out these random acts of stupidity and allowing these moments to get me, I’m losing to the stupid.
So I’ve developed a few simple steps for self-preservation and these I offer to you.
-Avoid Walmart at any cost. That 5% you might save will only later need to be spent on either therapy or attorney fees.
-Avoid public gatherings and if forced to go and faced with stupidity, point out the action and offer a harsh dressing down in an obscure foreign language – I go with Turkish but you do whatever works for you- it gets your opinion out and makes you feel highly superior.
- Avoid reading any and all responses to online articles as about 10 out of 12 of those are stupid, posted by hostile trolls who only read a portion of the article and feel their counter-point or hostile opinion is important to share with cyber-society.
-Avoid anything with the name Kardashian attached to it – that unfortunately includes large chunks of the E! network.
-Avoid over-sharing and stupidity shared by distant friends, relatives and acquaintances on Facebook by simply blocking them. You get one chance with me. If you post something racist, hateful, stupid or dealing with your personal bodily functions – you’re gone. I do not care if you’ve been constipated for 4 days, some things are meant to be kept private for God's sake people!
-Avoid Facebook and the internet during political elections, world catastrophes, weekends and late nights. That seems to be when the stupidity flows best.
I fear that we cannot stop this epidemic, as it seems to have already taken hold of so many, but we can do our best to protect ourselves. So go out there and hold your head high and look at the bright side, spending time with stupid people makes you look like a genius.